Here’s a list of things we do on a beach holiday, roughly in order from most to least often:
1. watch cricket on TV
2. watch ABC 4 Kids on TV
3. watch golf on TV
4. eat in our room
5. eat out at restaurants
6. play putt putt golf
7. play tenpin bowling
8. play Scrabble
9. swim in swimming pool
10. collect shells at beach
11. wash sandy shells at cabin
12. line clean shells up on table
13. swim at beach.
We’re well into double figures on that list before we do anything that we couldn’t more cheaply, easily and comfortably do at home.
In fact, we seem to do just about everything on our beach holiday - apart from go to the beach.
Maybe it’s because I’m from a non-beachgoing family.
Maybe it’s because the sea is fully of deadly creatures that will kill us.
Maybe it’s because even our cabin opposite the beach still seems so far away from the beach.
Maybe it’s because it takes forever to lather on sunscreen and collect all our stuff.
Then there’s the weather - too hot, too cold, or too windy.
Then there are the tides. Low tide is good for keeping the waves low and sharks farther out to sea.
Then there are lunar phases to consider (surely there’s a preferred phase of the moon for beachgoing?)
Maybe next year we’ll stay at home at do everything on that list from 1 – 9.
Or maybe we’ll head back to the beach so we can enjoy all those activities with the added bonus of doing so coated in sunscreen and with sand stuck in unpleasant places while sharing our bed with cockroaches.
Civilisation 2, Bush 2.
(NB. I really had a much better time than I'm making out, but that's our secret.)